Conflict

Choose one skill you use in dealing with conflict, research it, pounce on every chance to practice, teach someone else about it, and then write 3-4 paragraphs about what you did and what you learned.


The skill I use when I deal with conflict is saying sorry even if I'm not the one at fault. Sometimes this action is a sign of defeat and many people refuse to use it because they don't want to "lose", but I believe that this skill is very useful and effective. I can see that this skill may be overused or used for the wrong circumstances, but when perfected, it is a very powerful way to build better relationships with the opposing party. 


One instance that I used this skill is when I recently had conflicts with my roommate. There were many miscommunications and we were not on speaking terms at all. I knew my side of the story and I stuck by it. When we decided to talk about it, I took the time and listened to her side of the story and realized that I really wasn't at fault. My initial reaction was that I wanted to fight it and "win" because I was right all along. But I knew that our fight wouldn't end anytime soon if I fought because she's never going to back down. So I decided to just admit my faults, even the ones that weren't true, and tried to make amends. This experience really opened my eyes up to how effective this skill worked. My roommate and I instantly stopped fighting and both of our hearts were softened because someone had the guts to apologize first. We were talking with softer voices and we became willing to compromise. 


We talked about this skill during home teaching today and it was interesting how we can relate that to the gospel. President Monson talked in the new Ensign about how we need to Show, Express, and Share our love. We started talking about conflict situations that were similar to the one I experienced. It was cool to find that connection that by saying sorry and being the bigger person, it is a way to express our love for the other person. We care about the opposing party enough to swallow up our pride and just apologize instead of prolonging our conflict. 


I learned that sometimes it is important to keep your dignity, never letting someone make you feel inferior. But this skill of saying sorry at the appropriate time requires you to act inferior in order for you and the opposing party to come out superior together. Sometime it is ok to suck it up and let that ego down and have the courage to do something that is difficult.